Basics

El Paso, Texas is a multi-cultural city of 700,000 across the Rio Grande River from Juarez, Mexico. Like most communities across the United States, large and small, El Paso has experienced problems in youth sports, including out-of-control parents. In 1999, youth sports violence in El Paso escalated. At city-sponsored football games, incidents of violence included parents...

"Children learn self-control by watching you display self-control. Like a coach who remains calm and under control in tough situations, parents who exhibit good sideline behavior provide young athletes with an appropriate role model for handling the emotional ups and downs of competition."

Parents see things through adult eyes. They know that rejection is painful for them, so they think it must affect their children in the same way. This assumption can arouse a powerful protective instinct, leading some parents to threaten coaches and league officials, interrogate other families for evidence of discrimination, and foster an image of their child as a victim. Unfortunately, such parental behavior can have disastrous effects on a young person: a loss of self-esteem, increased anxiety, and a mounting pressure to excel which can lead him to quit sports altogether.

Giving the "best" players more playing time than the so-called "weaker" players may help a team win more games, but at what cost? Some boys never miss practice, yet only played the minimum. Others hardly ever, or never, come to practice, yet are "rewarded" for their lack of commitment with extra playing time because the coach wants to win. I believe that an equal playing or significant playing time should be the rule rather than the exception, at least up until high school varsity or until players are playing at the highest levels of their sport.

An interesting and useful way of thinking about the development of the young athlete has been proposed by Jon Hellstedt. Because it is impossible to look at the development of the young athlete without also taking into account the changes experienced by the parents and siblings, Hellstedt looks at the development of the young athlete as an issue for the entire family

Punishing a child for poor grades by pulling him off a sports team so he can concentrate on his studies sends the wrong message.

It is no easy task to be a parent of a young athlete. Hard enough are the tasks of helping the child learn how to handle the ups and downs of competition. But perhaps most challenging are the demands on your own coping skills - learning how to manage emotions that are repeatedly tested under trying conditions...

Because the mid-sole material of an athletic shoe takes a pounding and eventually loses its ability to provide your child's foot with adequate support or cushioning, experts, such as Dr. Michael Lowe, past President of the American Academy of Podiatric Sports Medicine, and long time team podiatrist of the NBA's Utah Jazz, recommend periodic replacement of athletic shoes, even if the bottom sole shows no sign of excessive wear.

Advice for parents from a mental health professional on helping children deal with the emotional pain of being cut from a sports team.

Compression fatigue of mid-sole, excessive wear of bottom sole and sock liner signs that athletic shoes worn out.