Team of Experts

The founder of the modern Olympic games, Baron Pierre de Coubertin, first stated the Olympic creed in 1896, and it is as much a cherished ideal today as it was more than a century ago: "The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part."

My sons were just five when they played on their first youth sports team. I can still vividly recall that night in April when the head coach called to tell me that they were on the T-ball "Red Sox" and that the first practice would be held at the high school softball field in two days.

Raising sports active kids is difficult, perhaps never more so than today. Parents feel pressure to help their kids succeed and to keep up with other parents in an increasingly winner-take-all society. Too often, parents feel that if they don't do everything for their child, they are bad parents. Some parents seem to take pride in how busy and stressed are their lives and those of their kids, as if it is a measure of how successful they are and how successful they must be as parents.

It seems that every season a story comes to my attention about a high school track & field athlete being disqualified from a meet for a seemingly minor rules violation. The most recent case to garner attention was that of Juashaunna Kelly, the best distance runner in Washington, D.C., who was disqualified last month because the body suit she races in to comply with the requirements of her Muslim religion did not comply with the rules of the National Federation of State High School Associations (NFHS) regarding uniform color.

From all that one might think from reading the newspaper, listening to the news or watching the television talk shows lately, the only problem with youth sports today is the out-of-control parent, and that all we have to do is to stick a code of conduct or laundry list of rules under the nose of every parent and ask them to sign on the dotted line, and everything will be fine.

Several years ago, my triplet sons tried out for the travel soccer club in our town. Two of my sons were wait-listed for no apparent reason, along with over sixty other boys who had previously been in the program.

When kids return to school, it is imperative that families get their house in order as it relates to recreational and organized sports activities. Over 12 million student athletes between ages 5 and 22 will sustain a sports-related injury this year. Students will lose twenty million school days as a result of an injury related either to sports or recreational activities.

Giving the "best" players more playing time than the so-called "weaker" players may help a team win more games, but at what cost? Some boys never miss practice, yet only played the minimum. Others hardly ever, or never, come to practice, yet are "rewarded" for their lack of commitment with extra playing time because the coach wants to win. I believe that an equal playing or significant playing time should be the rule rather than the exception, at least up until high school varsity or until players are playing at the highest levels of their sport.

An interesting and useful way of thinking about the development of the young athlete has been proposed by Jon Hellstedt. Because it is impossible to look at the development of the young athlete without also taking into account the changes experienced by the parents and siblings, Hellstedt looks at the development of the young athlete as an issue for the entire family.

It is no easy task to be a parent of a young athlete. Hard enough are the tasks of helping the child learn how to handle the ups and downs of competition. But perhaps most challenging are the demands on your own coping skills - learning how to manage emotions that are repeatedly tested under trying conditions.