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Talking to A Coach: Do Your Homework, Consider Alternatives

Talking to your child's coach is almost always a stressful experience, regardless of the issue.  As with any meeting, it's good to do your homework and make sure you have considered other alternatives.  You might just find that talking to the coach isn't a good idea after all.
  1. Regardless of the issue you may have with your child's coach, talk to your child first to find out what he is feeling and thinking before you talk to the coach. His feelings may be very different than yours and they deserve your respect.
  2. Encourage your child to talk to the coach himself. If you jump in every time your child has a problem, your child will soon get the message that she isn't capable of taking care of herself and will look to you to solve other problems she may be having in her life. For instance, if he is not getting as much playing time as he thinks he deserves, he should ask, "Coach, what do I need to work on so that I can earn more playing time?" 
  3. Don't speak up until you see a pattern and after you have gathered all the facts with an open mind. Check with the assistant coaches and other parents. Be patient. Give the coach the chance to get to know your child before you begin complaining. 
  4. Even if your child's feelings mirror your own, don't conclude that you have to talk to the coach. Consider the effect your talking to the coach may have on your child's relationships with his teammates and the coach. Sometimes, it may be better to keep quiet until you have given the matter more thought and, perhaps, talked to other parents to see if they have concerns similar to yours. If so, you may be better off going to the coach as a group.

Most recently revised December 20, 2012 


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