Home » Team of Experts Channel » The End (Winning) Doesn't Justify the Means (Abuse)

The End (Winning) Doesn't Justify the Means (Abuse)

Abuse - Pure and Simple

When the actions of Courtney's coach are tested against this definition of child abuse, it is clear that he was engaging in at least three forms of child abuse:

  • Using exercise as punishment. He punished Courtney for being five minutes late to practice by making her run bleacher stairs until she became physically ill. Requiring players who failed to make at least seven out of ten free throws in practice to run one "up and back" for each free throw missed short of the required seven, and that, for every free throw missed in a game, a girl had to run one up and back also constitute child abuse.

  • Yelling and screaming. The coach committed emotional abuse when he screamed at Courtney "You're not finished running. Get back up there! Fast," in the voice of a Marine drill sergeant.

  • Insulting. The coach insulted Courtney when he instructed her to "Stop your crying, and wipe your face! You are a selfish player by showing up late and I'm going to get rid of selfish players."

Negative effects of emotional abuse

Perhaps because the damage caused by emotional abuse is not obvious, like sexual abuse, or immediately apparent, like a physical injury, its effect is often overlooked and minimized. But, says San Francisco sports and child psychiatrist, Dr. Maria Pease, the damage is no less real, and, in fact, may be much more damaging and long lasting:

  • Children are deeply affected by negative comments from parents, coaches, and other adults whom they look up to and respect. One comment can turn a child off to sports forever.

  • Children are much more sensitive to criticism than adults: being yelled at, put down, or embarrassed is much more likely to have negative psychological consequences and to cause the child to feel humiliated, shamed, and degraded, and to damage her feelings of self-worth and self-esteem. In a 2004 study of emotional abuse of elite child athletes in the United Kingdom, for instance, the athletes reported that abuse by their coaches created a climate of fear and made them feel stupid, worthless, or upset, lacking in self-confidence, angry, depressed, humiliated, fearful and hurt, and left long-lasting emotional scars.

  • If the abuse becomes chronic, the pattern of negative comments can destroy a child's spirit, motivation, and self-esteem. Over time, the young athlete will begin to believe what adults say about him. Abusive comments, even if intended to improve athletic performance, are likely to have precisely the opposite effect.

  • Children who experience screaming on a regular basis will react in certain ways to protect or defend themselves. This may constrict their ability to be psychologically healthy over time.

  • A more sensitive child may be intolerant of screaming very early on, and remove him or herself from the sport. However, he or she is also more likely to endure the screaming without telling a parent or responding to the coach directly, out of fear of reprisal. A child who stays in this situation may be more affected physiologically with overall heightened arousal levels.

  • A more secure child will likely have the same physiological responses but be less vulnerable to them. He or she may find a way to tune out the yelling or relative comments, but this may come at the cost of emotional sensitivity. As the child becomes less sensitive to his own fearful feeling, he or she can become less sensitive to the feelings of others, leading to loss of empathy. He or she will also become less sensitive to emotions in general, and have a los of sensitivity to positive emotions as well. He or she is also likely to resent the coach for putting him in such a psychologically vulnerable position.