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Debbie Lantz
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The Millenials-Products of "Me" Centered Youth Sports?

I work for a large company in Dallas as an Organizational Development Specialist. Basically, my focus is to help businesses create high performance cultures. I want to share a topic that has the company I work for and many others taking notice. What does this topic have to do with youth sports you might ask?

The topic of "Motivating the Next Generation" is of keen interest and has prompted many a conversation in company board rooms across the US. The newest group of young people coming into the work force are labeled "The Millenials" and their expectations of work environments are very high. They expect lots of praise and they do not appreciate being told they failed. Constructive feedback has to be offered very gently and if they don't feel they are being treated well, they will walk. This new group of workers are coming into the workforce believing they are great. Don't believe it, just call their Mom, the record will be set straight in a hurry!

Researchers say that one of the contributing factors to this low tolerance for critical feedback is the experience this generation had in youth sports. They experienced a world where they got a trophy for showing up, they were praised to high heaven for everything they did and were told they could do anything. They are now entering the work world and finding that they have been sold a bill of goods.
I'm interested in starting a thread of conversation about the long term effects of the "everyone is a winner" philosophy that has taken over our parenting as it pertains to youth sports now. Do we need to help our kids have a more realistic understanding of their true skill? Should we let our kids feel the sting of failure a little? Is it okay to blend the "needs improvement" conversation with the praise?

To give you an additional view, here is a news clip from CBS news. It has been circulating in my work place and stirring up lots of great conversations! Watch the video and let's talk!

http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/i_video/main500251.shtml?id=3486473n

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Hmmm, I have seen this developing for some time

Submitted by Kirk Mango on Sat, 07/19/2008 - 13:59.

I like this post very much. I have definite feelings about this topic and will be back to participate further in this conversation once I have had a chance to mull over my thoughts a little more. I am sure for anyone who has read my posts, comments on other posts, and/or visited my website, that my opinion might be obvious. One thing I will say is that youth sports is merely a tool that is neither good nor bad by itself; it has positive and/or negative effects depending on how this tool is used. It is not a reason behind why something in our youth developed but the lessons taught through involvement that creates the scenarios outlined here.

Enjoyed the video, very supportive of the information in your post Debbie. I really want to give this some thought and will be back to join in on the discussion, which should be a good one.

Kirk Mango
Becoming a True Champion

NOTE: I would like to clarify the statement about youth sports I made above, "It is not a reason behind why something in our youth developed but the lessons taught through involvement that creates the scenarios outlined here" with an example. The development, or revealing, of ones character through participation in youth sports can only occur if the right lessons are taught and expectations are set. Youth sports, as a medium, is only a training ground that gives the opportunity to teach such intrinsic values, and a very good training ground (tool) I might add.

Unintended Consequences

Submitted by Debbie Lantz on Sat, 07/19/2008 - 14:44.

Kirk, you raise a great point about youth sports being a terrific tool for childhood learning. I believe the video reflects in some part the unintended consequences of our actions as adults supervising and facilitating the process for our kids.

I'm wondering if the "baby boomer's" experience as kids in youth sports has caused the pendulum to swing too far in the opposite direction? I am a baby boomer and I remember my sports experience as a kid being more about critiquing what was wrong and fixing it versus showering me with praise!

My experience as a child is confirmed many times when I talk with others in my generation about the contents of my book and my passion for writing it. I can't tell you the number of people, men in particular, who share stories of negative experiences they still remember that happened with a coach or their Dad that turned them away from sports.

Understanding our own feelings regarding sport and managing those biases could go a long way in making sure our kids get the right balance of positive and constructive experiences in sport.

Debbie Lantz
Author-"I Just Want To Play"

www.HigherRoadLeaders.com/store/products.php
debbie@HigherRoadLeaders.com

May I refer you to....

Submitted by Kirk Mango on Sat, 07/19/2008 - 14:59.

I have an earlier post on my blog that I think might have some indirect relevance to your topic, along with a short detailed story on the impact my father had on me and the seed I think he planted. I would be interested in your thoughts and to see if it may add to the discussion here. It was a recent post, here are the links:

http://www.momsteam.com/node/1351
http://www.momsteam.com/node/1397

Also, how interesting is it that my post below and your post to my first comment are only 4 minutes apart and both of us talk about the pendulum swing. Interesting!

Kirk Mango
Becoming a True Champion

OK.........

Submitted by Kirk Mango on Sat, 07/19/2008 - 21:14.

I would like to start by weighing in with an answer to your questions,

Kids Do Need To Learn About Losing But Not Too Soon

Submitted by Lindsay Barton on Sun, 07/27/2008 - 19:57.

In my view, having raised three sons who are now in their twenties, parents need to walk a fine line between letting their kids know they are loved and that they are somehow just as good as everyone else, just as talented, just as much a winner.

To further clarify

Submitted by Kirk Mango on Mon, 07/28/2008 - 19:10.

I also agree that the more competitive nature of sports in schools should not be a focus at younger ages, say before 6th grade. I will go a step further; I also believe that practice time and playing time should be equally divided at these ages as well. However, the introduction of the more competitive nature of sports should be viewed as a learning process like anything else and be introduced more gradually. My guess would be around Junior High School reaching full competitive status in the High School years.

With regard to focus on fundamentals, to me, it does not matter what level you are at, there is always a need to spend time on building an athletes fundamentals. They form the foundations from which everything else emanates. Whether you are just starting out or you are the countries