What would you do If you were me?

Submitted by Patricia Pie on Sun, 06/22/2008 - 00:54.
Hi, I am a mom of a 13 year boy who just had the worst emotional roller coaster  hs baseball experience!!  I am looking for advice that deals with self esteem and self worth.  I am a teacher of 25 years and have never come upon such an aggresive coach.  We are going to the board about this and I need all the help I can get.  All in all, he [the coach} wrote an email about my son and how he will never go on as a athlete...so on and so on....because they lost a tournament.  My son read it!  Obviously I am angry and disappointed and I don't believe this man should coach anymore.  He has previously been kicked out of our league twice for cheating...Everyone is afraid to take him on.  I would love to talk to someone on how to approach this meeting without sounding like the protective parent.  He slandered my son and it is not acceptable. I deal everyday with the self esteem of children.  It hits home when it is my son! Hopefully, someone can help out.  Any one know how to hold these coaches accountable?
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Think You are doing the right thing

Submitted by Brooke de Lench on Sun, 06/22/2008 - 17:34.

Patricia,

If you have exhausted all of your options, then by all means, go above the coach until you have someone who puts the kids first.

This will however not rule out that your son will not still have some problems with the coach if no one takes you seriously. MomsTeam has many good articles for you on this issue.

I would love to hear how other parents handled this and if they were succesful or not.

All best,

Brooke de Lench

Publisher

MomsTeam.com

Author

Home Team Advantage (Harper Collins)

I am saddened by your post

Submitted by Kirk Mango on Wed, 06/25/2008 - 16:50.

Like you I have been teaching many years, 29 in hs, and am appalled by this coach's behavior as you

E mail and transparency

Submitted by Patricia Pie on Mon, 06/30/2008 - 00:30.

I have always told my kids that anything that they write and recieve on the family computer should be able to be read by anyone in the family. If they have anything bad to write they should never do it on th ecomputer. Also, he knows to read coaches e mails as soon as they come in and to call me at twork. In the past they were always just about fields, time changes like that.

We hope to get some resolution this summer but appreciate you taking the time so much. I enjoy your blogs to.Very much. Patti

Thanks

Submitted by Kirk Mango on Mon, 06/30/2008 - 19:44.

Patti,

Are you saying that this coach (and I am using this term loosely at this point) actually sent an email to your son, or the team as a whole, with those humiliating remarks in it? Is he a also a teacher at the school or is he only a coach for the baseball team with another occupation? I am having such a hard time wrapping my brain around the idea that a coach, any coach, would send something like you describe to anyone on the team. It serves absolutely no positive purpose other than humiliation. Keep us posted on what happens. I will be watching this post closely that

heart breaking

Submitted by Teresa Smolinski on Wed, 06/25/2008 - 17:34.

Your story just breaks my heart. We've all come across less-than-stellar coaches, but this is just sickening. I had a coach tell me that the only way he could get anything out of my daughter was to "beat it out of her." We left the club - appealing to the club owner/director did absolutely nothing.

Kirk is right that you at least have a chain of command in a school setting. If the athletic director is not responsive, you need to go higher up to the principal and even higher if need be. If you have other parents that feel the same way, I would urge you to see if you can get them to back you up, without making it look like you are on a witch hunt or have sour grapes.

Unfortunately, school sports don't often turn out with a happy ending. If your son truly loves the game, I hope you can find him a club or town team that is right for him. A place where the coach will appreciate his talents and respect him as a person.

Coaches

Submitted by Patricia Pie on Mon, 06/30/2008 - 00:34.

Thank you for your commenbt. The only thing that makes us feel ok and hopeful--that is the key word here--is that we have had so many great coaches and we DO know the difference when we see them.

I have to laugh, I have been following MomsTeam for about 4 years and keep thinking--if we just had all the parents who are aware of good and bad on the same team we could all be much more happy. Then it dawns on me that if we keep working at it maybe our grands will have a great experience.

We all need to work on this

Submitted by Jodi Ann Kelbert on Mon, 06/30/2008 - 00:15.
I am miserable today for having questioned my son's all star little league coach about sidelining my son, who is not the best player on the team. Yes, I broke the rule; I approached him during a game and got angry when he wouldn't talk to me. I have been duly punished by an admonishing e-mail sent to all the parents on the team; nothing like a bit of personal communication.